advice
advice
My wife has known about my sweater fetish for about a year. I told her a few months before we were married. She thought it was weird but was willing to wear them more often. She knows that I also enjoy wearing womans wool sweaters but is having a difficult time understanding that.
Last night when we were in bed I made a comment that I was cold. She said " let me get you a sweater and put it on me. It was amazing. I immediately got hard. I told her "see what the sweaters do".
She really liked it. However how can I get her to do this more. How can I get her to make me wear the sweaters more often. I like her telling me to do stuff like female domination
Any suggestions would be appreciated
Thanks
Last night when we were in bed I made a comment that I was cold. She said " let me get you a sweater and put it on me. It was amazing. I immediately got hard. I told her "see what the sweaters do".
She really liked it. However how can I get her to do this more. How can I get her to make me wear the sweaters more often. I like her telling me to do stuff like female domination
Any suggestions would be appreciated
Thanks
Re: advice
I wish I knew what to tell you! I told my wife about my fetish years ago, but she's just not at all into it. If I have a sweater on and things are moving towards sex, she will ask me to take it off... One time, have we had sex, and she did not make me take the sweater off. She knows what they do to me, but just can't get past her own preconceptions. If you find the secret, please...share it with me!
Re: advice
Well guys, I don't know what kind of relationships you have with your Ladies, but my experience is that the most heard complaint of Women is that their husbands lock them out. Men are just too #$%& scared to honestly tell their Ladies what their kinks are. Females are very sensitive creatures. They feel that you don't give yourself totally. And if you don't tell Her your sexlife will finally result in a downer as you make Her loose interest in you. If you honestly confess you deepest wishes and phantasies to Her, you provide Her with tools to arouse you and Herself and make you go ballistic. In short:
- Communicate, not once, but frequently (and preferably not only about your kinks!)
- Be open and honest!
- Be patient and give Her time. Your Lady needs time to adapt to the new path. I use the word path because from the moment you have confessed your desires, you will TOGETHER start a journey to explore those phantasies, find new borders and maybe pass them or not.
And for those who really want to go into FemDom, there is a secret. If you want Her to Dominate you, SUBMIT to Her. The secret is in your hands, not in Hers. She can never Dominate if you don't submit to Her. So it starts with the above description and then you just start pleasing your Mistress in any way you can as soon as the social situation permits it. That starts with making Her breakfast in the morning, maybe help Her to get to work, make up your beds, help Her in Her coat and so on. In fact quite simple things any Woman would greatly appreciate in Her husband. You will see that after a while She will adapt and get used to that new situation. As you can probably immagine, do most Women quite easily adapt to and enjoy being treated as a Queen and real Lady. Even more, having a very attentive husband, She will proudly show you of to Her friends. If you then forget something or become unattentive, She will correct or even punish you for it. But again, don't try to be haisty, it is a journey of exploration.
I hope you cab do something with it, it gave our life a lot more depth and satisfaction.
One warning: The journey is a challenging, but also a difficult one, in which you will find obstructions, barriers and borders that you will pass together. But it is well worth to live for!
Good luck on your journey,
Buzztan
P.S. My Mistress is allergic to wool. But She knitted me two mohair cockwarmers, which She makes me wear all weekends. I sleep under wool blankets.
Last week i had been unattentive. She forced me to wear an incredible itchy Fuchia Lady-cardigan, which She buttoned up to the top. She tied my arms and legs with Mohair rope, gagged and blindfolded me with mohair cloth, gave me a tremendous spanking during which She even broke Her paddle. After that She retied my wrists along my body with a mohair shawl that i knitted myself, put a closed balaclava over my head, wrapped me in my own blankets and left me like this for the night. After i stopped fighting for release (so submitted to Her will) i slept like a baby and woke up almost two hours later than i normally would.
- Communicate, not once, but frequently (and preferably not only about your kinks!)
- Be open and honest!
- Be patient and give Her time. Your Lady needs time to adapt to the new path. I use the word path because from the moment you have confessed your desires, you will TOGETHER start a journey to explore those phantasies, find new borders and maybe pass them or not.
And for those who really want to go into FemDom, there is a secret. If you want Her to Dominate you, SUBMIT to Her. The secret is in your hands, not in Hers. She can never Dominate if you don't submit to Her. So it starts with the above description and then you just start pleasing your Mistress in any way you can as soon as the social situation permits it. That starts with making Her breakfast in the morning, maybe help Her to get to work, make up your beds, help Her in Her coat and so on. In fact quite simple things any Woman would greatly appreciate in Her husband. You will see that after a while She will adapt and get used to that new situation. As you can probably immagine, do most Women quite easily adapt to and enjoy being treated as a Queen and real Lady. Even more, having a very attentive husband, She will proudly show you of to Her friends. If you then forget something or become unattentive, She will correct or even punish you for it. But again, don't try to be haisty, it is a journey of exploration.
I hope you cab do something with it, it gave our life a lot more depth and satisfaction.
One warning: The journey is a challenging, but also a difficult one, in which you will find obstructions, barriers and borders that you will pass together. But it is well worth to live for!
Good luck on your journey,
Buzztan
P.S. My Mistress is allergic to wool. But She knitted me two mohair cockwarmers, which She makes me wear all weekends. I sleep under wool blankets.
Last week i had been unattentive. She forced me to wear an incredible itchy Fuchia Lady-cardigan, which She buttoned up to the top. She tied my arms and legs with Mohair rope, gagged and blindfolded me with mohair cloth, gave me a tremendous spanking during which She even broke Her paddle. After that She retied my wrists along my body with a mohair shawl that i knitted myself, put a closed balaclava over my head, wrapped me in my own blankets and left me like this for the night. After i stopped fighting for release (so submitted to Her will) i slept like a baby and woke up almost two hours later than i normally would.
Re: advice
Wow, words of wisdom, buzztan. Thanks for this penetrative look.
Re: advice
buzztan's got a good thing going, but his is the exception, not the rule I think. My wife is just plain closed minded to the whole thing. Suprising given that she is a European...I thought they were so open! I have been open and honest with her about my fantasies and fetishes...and it has all but ended my sex life. Alas, I keep trying.
Re: advice
That's a very interesting statement you make there about European Females. First of all because i hardly can think of any continent having a richer variety of cultures, religions, customs and behaviours as Europe. Africa comes close, but is not that dense populated.mohair_cd wrote:buzztan's got a good thing going, but his is the exception, not the rule I think. My wife is just plain closed minded to the whole thing. Suprising given that she is a European...I thought they were so open! I have been open and honest with her about my fantasies and fetishes...and it has all but ended my sex life. Alas, I keep trying.
When i look at the Netherlands (where i live at the moment), acceptation of "different" interests vary almost from village to village. And basically, people are not open minded. They even neglect people like homo's. Not in the open, but especially in what is called here the "Bible belt", hypocraty is more common than seldom, unfortunately.
What i'm trying to make clear with this statement is that the communication with your partner is so important here. People, -everybody-, are used to a certain way of behaviour, interest etc. At the moment you start fighting that, you might expect opposition. Sounds logical to me anyway.
Point with being a wool-addict is realizing that it is not different from being a lingerie-addict, only different and less common and for sure less affected by commercials. but you don't harm or hurt anybody. Also your wife doesn't have to understand it (like mine) but only respect the fact that it is a fact. It is like trying to understand why one persomn likes yellow and the second likes blue. Just accept it, not everybody likes donuts. And in case of your wife or partner, She can surely take advantage of it if She likes.....
So also try to find out what can be in it for Her.
Again good luck and keep on talking about it guys.
Regards,
Buzztan
-
- Top Member
- Posts: 40
- Joined: Sat Nov 29, 2008 9:11 pm
- Location: Pennsylvania, USA
Re: advice
Not sure how to approach this particular subject as it has taken several turns since the inception of my relationship with my (now) wife of nearly 30 years. From the first time I asked her to leave her sweater on when we transitioned from foreplay into something more intimate, I had a difficult time telling her about my sweater fetish.
Our relationship has graduated from me finding out that she discussed my fetish with a friend (which horrified me until her friend asked me to help her load luggage in to her car which had sweaters piled in the trunk) to a level of something that is as normal as where you might touch your lover to enhance her pleasure. My wife has accepted the fact that she can arouse me as much with a thick and soft mohair sweater as I can arouse her with my left middle finger.
All of this comes with the understanding that whatever sexual fetish I might have, she is the person that I want to share that with, as well as every other aspect of our lives. I vacillate between wondering why those of you who question why you cannot transition to that level to wondering how I was fortunate to find someone who understood.
The key is not just telling her you that you care enough for her to share this attraction, but reinforcing that she is the only person you want to share it with. Monogamy is a very prevalent female characteristic, and helping her to understand you share this with her alone is important. At least that has been my experience, and it has paid enormous dividends.
I wish for you all, my similarly encumbered friends, that you may find someone as understanding and accomodating as my wonderful, beautiful wife. Best wishes for your present and future relationships.
Our relationship has graduated from me finding out that she discussed my fetish with a friend (which horrified me until her friend asked me to help her load luggage in to her car which had sweaters piled in the trunk) to a level of something that is as normal as where you might touch your lover to enhance her pleasure. My wife has accepted the fact that she can arouse me as much with a thick and soft mohair sweater as I can arouse her with my left middle finger.
All of this comes with the understanding that whatever sexual fetish I might have, she is the person that I want to share that with, as well as every other aspect of our lives. I vacillate between wondering why those of you who question why you cannot transition to that level to wondering how I was fortunate to find someone who understood.
The key is not just telling her you that you care enough for her to share this attraction, but reinforcing that she is the only person you want to share it with. Monogamy is a very prevalent female characteristic, and helping her to understand you share this with her alone is important. At least that has been my experience, and it has paid enormous dividends.
I wish for you all, my similarly encumbered friends, that you may find someone as understanding and accomodating as my wonderful, beautiful wife. Best wishes for your present and future relationships.
-
- Newbie
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2009 1:20 pm
Re: advice
I really don't know what to say. You have a weird sexual fetish. Maybe, just always tell her that you are cold. Or, just simply tell her that it always makes you turn on every time she is obliging you to wear sweater.